Superstud 6000 (note to self: ask him for a new name) often sings my name, even in the morning. Apparently I grunt in response. In my defense, I’ve been up at least an extra hour and am perpetually sleep deprived, but now that he has brought this to my attention, I’m a little embarrassed.
SS6Grand (no, that’s not going to work well either) even compared my grunting to that of Lewis, our younger dog who since day 2 groans a little whenever you touch him or sometimes just look at him. Developing my communication skills might be just the holiday project I wasn’t looking for: “How not to sound like a grumpy b… male dog.”
Coincidentally, while searching my blog and Facebook archives this evening for some writing to recycle on this, the first evening of the long awaited Christmas holidays — perhaps something cute and cheery from a time before a Pandemic was no longer science fiction– I came across this blog post from 2008, four months after we moved in together. I was at once stuck by how brilliant a writer I am, as well as how little I have learned in twelve years.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Men are from Mars? Try, men are from some star light years past the last known planet in the galaxy. I am, however, learning to speak Men as my Second Language. As an entry level MSL student (long distance dating seems to have saved us from the realization that our interplanetary translators are nonfunctional), I’m going to use this blog to practice a few language skills I’m picking up.
In the grammar of Men, apparently I am breaking rules by using introductory and descriptive phrases. The correct way to speak is to only state the main clause or thesis of my argument. I generally try to grab the attention of my listener with a general statement and some context phrases before getting to the main point. I find this not only makes my point more interesting, but also makes it less likely to misunderstood.
I am concerned about people thinking I am rude and demanding, so I lead in with phrases such as “If you’re not doing anything later” or “Feel free to say no.” Once the context is established, I feel that my listener will not only be in the right frame of mind to hear my thesis, but also understand my attitude more clearly.
As an English teacher, I pride myself on the knowledge that words and images reveal tone, which is why I avoid short direct statements that often sound detached or cold; however, this is breaking MSL grammatical lesson number one: just say it.
Because I will be using less words to explain myself at home, I fully expect to have more time to blog again. Where else will all my meaningful words and phrases go?
Was this the origin of my abrupt morning sounds? I recognize now that condensing my natural speech patterns has made me seem rude. And it might be time to sing along.
